What Will It Mean?

I am now the fool you always intended me to be
I was raised to believe I deserved better than this
But now that I see what I’ve swallowed and believed
I’m starting to think I wanted to earn the right to wear these scars

If I let these scars heal,
Will it mean I can be hurt like this again?
If I fall in love, if I move on
Will it erase the lessons I think I’ve learned?
Will he even mean as much as he should to me?

Your light-fingered contempt for my heart and my trust
Has me questioning how much I valued them anyway
Time after time, I let you whisk away all my values and fears
You’d think a girl would have learned by now

If I let these scars heal,
Will it mean I can be hurt like this again?
If I fall in love, if I move on
Will it erase the lessons I think I’ve learned?
Will he even mean as much as he should to me?

When he smiled at me as we passed today
I felt a warmth on my soul I thought I’d forgotten
But before I can present my heart again
I just wish I knew the answer to these questions

If I let these scars heal,
Will it mean I can be hurt like this again?
If I fall in love, if I move on
Will it erase the lessons I think I’ve learned?
Will he even mean as much as he should to me?

~Tara Vrsalovich (February 2010)